This was my first Mark Hughes memory, and to my nine year old mind it was just about the best goal imaginable.   A bouncing ball, several feet off the ground, suddenly thrashed into the top corner from Hughes’ wonderfully judged volley.  For him it was probably just one of those moments, see the ball, kick the ball, but it registered in my mind and I always rated him after that.

Only later in his career did I understand what a complete centre-forward he was.   It’s hard to think of an obvious comparison, but Alan Shearer’s physicality springs to mind (Hughes didn’t get Shearer’s goals, of course, but scored more than you’d think when at his peak).   One of those players defenders hated to play against.

As a manager he’s done pretty well.   He was a surprising success with Wales, and that got him the Blackburn job where he went on to win 44% of his games, which is around that level of competence that suggests he knows what he’s doing.    In many ways he was the wrong man at the wrong time at City, and while he was unfortunate to lose his job after not doing much wrong, it seems to me that Mancini was an upgrade and that Hughes, ultimately, probably shouldn’t have been surprised at how things ended.

What can we expect, then?   Craig Bellamy for one thing, although quite how Hughes would fit him into the squad is hard to know.   This is the rub, in a way.  Sven would have been the continuity choice, but Hughes… we have no idea how he rates our players, do we?   I think he’ll appreciate the squad’s character, like the hard workers he finds here, but will he know how to get the best out of our journeymen players?

The other knock on Hughes is this:

Those are the Premier League’s disciplinary tables during Hughes’ time at Blackburn.   I mean, fine, no problem with toughening us up, but that’s essentially the polar opposite of where we are now, isn’t it?   I get that he took an average group and made them hard to beat, used wingers, attacked, and so on, but the above, coupled with his frankly miserable, excuse filled post match interviews, well, that’s change isn’t it?

Which is fine.    The fact that I’m even having doubts about a manager of Hughes’ apparent level says everything for the lofty position the club has found itself in, but I must admit that this isn’t an appointment I like.    No matter.   It’s another new dawn, and for one thing Hughes isn’t the sort of manager who seems likely to preside over a meltdown, which might have been the case with some of the more leftfield options we’ve seen.    No, I can envisage a couple of decent seasons now, morphing towards a Sunderland type side I guess, picking up enough points, maybe doing alright in the cups, and, for the most part, keeping on keeping on.   And that’s all we can ask for.   As Roy would often say, Fulham’s first job is always to stay in the Premier League, and while everyone’s making the right noises about progress, for me the bottom line is (to repeat myself) that Hughes should be more than savvy enough to ensure that we stay up.

And if we can sometimes win away that will be brilliant.

This morning’s Times says that Mark Schwarzer is probably going to Arsenal as soon as we get a manager, and that West Ham’s Robert Green may be the man to replace him.  No issues with this, but what it did make me realise is that there are probably other dominoes waiting to fall, we just don’t know it yet.

Paul Konchesky may, for all we know, be making that move to Birmingham.  He has only one year left on his contract, so may be able to turn that into a big final payday.  It made me wonder who else is due to expire, as it were, and in fact there are a few players in this situation.

As best I can tell, the squad breaks down as:

One more season:

Chris Baird, Dickson Etuhu, Simon Davies (?), Eddie Johnson, Diomansy Kamara, Konchesky, Danny Murphy, Schwarzer, John Paintsil.

More than that:

Everyone else.

This is a bummer for the likes of Baird, Etuhu and Paintsil, whose stock under Hodgson has risen to previously unimaginable heights, but who might be good bets to regress if their roles/instructions/etc change.   Eddie Johnson clearly needs to show some progress (Premier League football doesn’t reward potential indefinitely), Kamara’s bridges always seem to be damaged, if not yet burned (a new, ambitious kind of mixed metaphor, that), Danny Murphy is in decline but still important, and as noted above Schwarzer’s likely to be elsewhere anyway.  I can’t find anything about Simon Davies’ contract, which I had thought to be up but which clearly is not.  

Key players like Zamora, Dempsey, Hughes, Duff and Hangeland have at least two years left; Zoltan Gera has one more plus a (club?) option for two.  

The point here, I suppose, is that all of these things would be resolved, or in the process of being resolved, if we had a manager.   The ‘one more year’ crew aren’t players we cannot do without, but all would probably want some reassurance at this point, as the final year is typically ‘extension or move’ for players with something left to offer (the club gets a fee rather than allowing the player to leave for nothing, the player gets security). 

I don’t know that there’s necessarily a point to all this, besides the obvious fact that, as is the way of these things, change is again upon us.  It makes me realise how lucky Manchester United have been to see the likes of Ryan Giggs play for them for a long time, to have the same man in charge for this period.  Look back at the last few years at Fulham, the troughs, peaks, troughs, troughs, peaks, and then now, when anything might reasonably happen.  

The common thread has been Mr Al Fayed and his commitment to splurging, with varying returns on these splurges.  Now a new man will come in, will use the Chairman’s money, and once more we’ll have a new team.  There is much to be said for continuity, and some managers would bring more of this than others (although it’s got to be evolution rather than revolution this near to the start of the season), so we must hope that whoever does come in can build on what we have, rather than try to turn the whole setup on its head.  As others have mentioned, if the new man is wise enough to restrict tinkering to any great extent, while perhaps opening things up a bit away from home, then we ought to be happy enough.   This is a likeable and effective group of players, and for the most part they still have much to give.  I’m looking forward to watching them again next season, whoever’s in charge.

Murphy missed pen 5, no goals.

Team:  Stockdale; Stoor (Kamara 76, Smith 79), Hangeland, Hughes, Konchesky; Duff (Davies 45), Etuhu (Baird 45), Murphy (Kelly 63), Riise (Elm 45); Gera (Greening 63), Zamora (E.Johnson 76).

Would have loved to be there.   I was going to go to Sweden to do some more research early in the summer, but the Europa League final took the spare money so I didn’t (then Roy left anyway), but Malmo have an interesting history and there appear to be some fantastically nice people working there.    Also, the kit looks really good.

Anyway, nothing much else to go on is there?  Still no manager, the speculation continues, but I’d be stunned if the press know a thing about who we’re in talks with.   It really could be anyone.

“The chairman is obviously confident that we will have someone in place but we won’t be rushed into making a decision.

“There is no deadline. The chairman wants to make sure that he has the right man for the job and will make that decision as and when he sees necessary.

“We have our second friendly of the pre-season tour of Sweden tomorrow and the chairman is very happy with the way that preparations are going under Ray Lewington so we are not panicking here.

“It’s business as usual. Ray Lewington is doing a great job with the pre-season campaign and the managerial situation will be resolved as and when we have the right man for the job.”

So say Sky and others.

So we wait.  It’s weird all this, isn’t it?   Absolute limbo.    We are like cows in a field.

Hurray!   We’re sold out!   I was hugely proud of this year’s book, easily the biggest and best yet, so it’s great that it has found its way into as many hands as possible.

We’ve about eight 2007/08 Great Escape reprints left, and a few more of the other two (2006/07 and 2008/09).   So if you haven’t got these, please fire away while stocks last.  (www.godsfoot.com)

Cheers to everyone who has bought one of these at any point – much appreciated!

In today’s Times Literary Supplement, in an unlikely article about a book about small African gold weights, David Attenborough notes an old Ghanaian proverb:  “It is unwise to rub bottoms with a porcupine”.

I think we can all see the wisdom in that, never moreso than today.

But on reflection, I’m increasingly inclined to put this down to “one of those things”.

Ajax have done nothing wrong here, merely protecting their right to retain a contracted employee.  Were I an Ajax fan, I’d be delighted with the board for their work here.

Martin Jol, supposedly the villain of the piece, may have done nothing that a hundred football people don’t do every off-season, namely look to negotiate a better (or different) job.   He wanted to come back to England, found a job that worked for him, and went about getting it.  In the end he was thwarted by the contract he himself had signed, so swings and roundabouts but no real blame.

Fulham have been unfortunate in this, keeping quiet until the last possible moment and only contributing snippets to the press when the cat of Martin Jol was well and truly out of the bag.   There is criticism of Alastair Mackintosh for not landing this particular big fish (cat, fish, what next?), but is this fair?  He had been led to believe that Jol’s contract allowed for such an approach, and if he then found this not to be the case, well, what can you do?   He aimed high in going for Jol and fell short:  this is the risk when you stretch yourself, isn’t it?   Again, though, in this he could hardly win:  aim low and incur the wrath of ‘ambitious’ supporters; aim high and things can get difficult.  (Which is why Fulham have tried to keep things quiet, of course.)

The person who comes out of this badly is perhaps Roy Hodgson, who I’ve defended throughout, but whose decision to leave so late (again, the question of whether he could have done anything differently remains unresolved) has now exposed us to a very difficult timeline.  To put myself in work shoes, for a moment:

• w/c Sat July 17th – Jol deal falls through
• w/c Sat July 24th – no manager in place
• w/c Sat July 31st
• w/c Sat August 7th
• w/c Sat August 14th – first game of season

It’s Friday 22nd now.  That leaves three weeks until the start of the season.   Pre-season training is more or less okay, in that Ray Lewington can run all this, but here’s the thing:  suppose New Manager wants to impose a new style of play?   Now, we accept that often managers have to start their work mid-season (as did Roy), but equally, it takes more than three weeks to get a team in tune with your ways (as it did with Roy).   Throw in the need to buy new players (which we do need to do), and there’s maybe a problem brewing.

This could have been a difficult season even if Roy had stayed, and while things may yet take a turn for the better, time is marching on and the delays certainly aren’t helping.

On a brighter note, today on the way home I was reading a short story in “Love and Obstacles” by Aleksandar Hemon:

He was rewinding the tape, pressing the Stop and Play buttons alternately, trying to find the beginning.  The tape squeeled and yelped until he pinpointed the moment of silence before “Stairway to Heaven.
“There’s so much you don’t know, son.  Do you know what you don’t know?”
“No I don’t.”
“You have no idea what you don’t know.  Before you know anything, you have to know what you don’t know.”
“I know.”
“The fuck you do.”

And so much for that.  But the wonder of modern music players is that you can conjure up these songs in a jiffy, and soon indeed I was reading away with this splendid song chiming on in my ears, the first time I’d played it in ages.   What a joy.

There’s a lady who’s sure
All that glitters is gold
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven
There’s a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
‘Cause you know sometimes words have
Two meanings
In a tree by the brook
There’s a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are
Misgiven
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it makes me wonder

Which, translated, means “I have played a blinder here and got exactly what I wanted from Ajax while leading Fulham along like a… well, anyway”.

It feels like something out of a film.  Our hero, a brown suited underslept journalist played by Jake Gyllenhaal, sits in the office, shooting screwn up paper into waste bins, getting ribbed by Robert Downey Jr and under pressure from his domineering boss (played by an older man with white hair).  

“Get me the story!” – “There is no story.  This one’s tighter than a Koufax curveball.  Nobody’s saying shit.” – “Someone must be saying something!” – “Sven’s agent said something that was really nothing.  Stuart Baxter is bewildered.  Alan Curbishley thinks he’s out.  Bilic we don’t know.  I tell you, nothing!” – “All right, but nothing can’t stay nothing forever.  Make something in 48 hours!”

Gylenhaal shrugs, dejected.  His next paper ball hits the rim of the bin and drops to the floor, where it settles, accusingly. 

That night he confides in his beautiful and caring wife, a trainee teacher from the midwest not yet ground down by the city’s irrepressable dark side.  They live in a small apartment full of large boxes.  A subway train passes, the apartment shakes.  Rain hammers against the window.  Sirens howl from the streets below, a hundred incidents, a dozen resolutions.  “It’ll happen, baby.  Tomorrow you’ll get a clue.  Just write another 48 hours story for now.  It’ll come soon.”

Next day in the office.  Gylenhaal sips coffee from a plastic cup.  The phone rings.   He leaps out of his chair, spilling his coffee on his trousers.  “Yes?  Yes.  Yes.  I’m on it.”

He hangs up and runs, knocking files off one desk, dancing edgily past colleagues carrying coffee, like Barry Sanders in a broken backfield.  “Sorry, bad rush.” He sprints down the corridor, passing his boss on the way: “Amsterdam!  They’ve gone to Amsterdam!”

He hails a taxi at the foot of the steps outside.  “Airport!”   Traffic is bad, and on the way he calls his wife, who is upset but understanding.  This is his big break, they both agree.   He finds a flight and is on his way.  He’s going to Amsterdam.  The cat is out of the bag:  it’s Jol. 

PS Anyway, here’s the latest.

I was digging around the internet looking for Martin Jol’s transfer dealings when Ken V on TIFF posted the following, which lists them all.

Some of the dealings, then:

2004/05 in:  Paul Stalteri (free), Andy Reid (£4m), Michael Dawson (£4m), Michael Carrick (£2.75m), Pedro Mendes (£2m)
2004/05 out: Simon Davies (£3m), Kasey Keller (£.5m)

2005/06 in: Dimitar Berbatov (£10.9m), Benoit Assou-Ekotto (£3.5m), Danny Murphy (£2m), Jermaine Jenas (£7m), Edgar Davids (Free), Aaron Lennon (£1m), Tom Huddelstone (£2.5m), Wayne Routledge (£2.5m)
2005/06 out:  Stephen Kelly (£.75m), Michael Brown (£2m), Frederic Kanoute (£4.4m)

2006/07 in:  Younes Kaboul (?), Darren Bent (£16.5m), Gareth Bale (£6m), Pascal Chimbonda (£4.5m), Steeeeeeeeeeed (£2m), Mido (£4.5m), Didier Zokora (£8.2m)
2006/07 out: Edgar Davids (free), Michael Carrick (£18.6m), Andy Reid (£3m) (Danny Murphy left after this season, as did Wayne Routledge).

First thing to say is that we don’t know how much of the above was Jol and how much was the Director of Football.  My memory is that the latter was doing more than Jol wanted, and that signings like Darren Bent were not exactly what the team needed at the time (what with having Berbatov, Keane and Defoe already).     Otherwise you can see some really strong evidence of trying to pick up young, talented British players, which augers well for the like of Matthew Briggs and Keanu Marsh-Brown who might never have got a real look under Hodgson.

It’s a pretty good list, not just in terms of quality (which is good), but also in the type of player you see there.  There is a lovely blend of technical players and grafters, of established players and hot prospects.

Encouraging.

And there’s more:

In 2003/04 (before Jol) Spurs finished 14th with 45 points and a goal difference of -10 (4 away wins)
In 2004/05 Spurs finished 9th with 52 points and a goal difference of +6 (5 away wins!)
In 2005/06 Spurs finished 5th with 65 points and a goal difference of +15 (6 away wins!)
In 2006/07 Spurs finished 5th with 60 points and a goal difference of +3 (5 away wins!)

They got rid of him and finished 11th with 46 points, +5 (3 away wins) (this was part Ramos, part Redknapp, the latter, as I will always point out, feasting on an underperforming side and taking it back to exactly where it should have been, thus cementing his reputation as some kind of guru).

So Martin Jol took an underperforming mid-table team to the limit of what it might reasonably have achieved, then got axed.  He did this while bringing in some pleasing footballers, and while doing so, managed to win at least five away games a season.

Without wanting to get too carried away, this all sounds wonderful.  The strength of the teams above us means that we’re not going to waltz into 5th place or anything, but this appointment (if it happens) does suggest good times ahead. Roy Hodgson may very well have taken Fulham as far as he could, but that doesn’t mean Martin Jol can’t take us further.

Tremendous picture from Simon Shaw here:

Which was taken during a stadium tour shortly after this game.

Interesting on a few levels (“Boa always over the ball” is intriguing in its insistence, and much else of good ponderability there too)…   you’d assume that players might remember these sorts of details, but if writing things on a board saves a goal a season then it’s worth it, isn’t it?

NEW TOOFIF WEBSITE
At long last the award-winning Fulham fanzine has its own website ­ check out www.toofif.co.uk for the web-based extension to the enduring magazine.

NEVER SEEN TOOFIF?
Well check out the website to see what the fuss is all about ­ it’s an independent view of Fulham FC by the fans and for the fans courtesy of a mag that first hit the streets back in 1988. With Fulham reaching its first European Cup Final last season, the football club’s stock has never been higher but, being Fulham, there’s always plenty to discuss and debate anyway.  For further details, please see “About TOOFIF” at www.toofif.co.uk !

EVER THOUGHT ABOUT SUBSCRIBING?
It’s never been easier to take out a five-issue subscription to the magazine ­ and as payment can now be made via PayPal, even those of you who live hundreds or even thousands of miles from Craven Cottage can be a part of the TOOFIF experience. Full subscription details can be found at www.toofif.co.uk under ­guess what? ­ “Subscriptions”. Be sure to check out the “SPECIAL OFFERS”! Or get in touch with TOOFIF by email via dmltoofif@blueyonder.co.uk to be added to the list of subscribers and to establish full contact details.

EVER THOUGHT ABOUT ADVERTISING IN TOOFIF?
Er, probably not! But, hey, why not consider doing so and get your particular message across to the Fulham faithful? You’ll find our advertising rates are very attractive (we like ‘em, anyway!). Again, simply email TOOFIF at dmltoofif@blueyonder.co.uk for further information.

The Fulham Chronicle says so.

Like the Two Ronnies’ policemen whose toilet had been stolen, at this point we still have nothing to go on.

I wonder if part of this is candidates taking a realistic look at what Fulham are, what Fulham can be, and backing off.   Yes, we’re a Premier League side, and yes we’ve recently made it to Europe, but is it that simple?

Let’s start with the squad.    It’s a good squad, and Roy Hodgson had it purring along well, but what would a new man see?

Mark Schwarzer – Arsenal-bound, great goalkeeper at the end of his career
John Paintsil – good right back, at his peak
Brede Hangeland – good centre-back, at his peak
Aaron Hughes – good centre-back, at his peak
Paul Konchesky – good left-back, at his peak, may be leaving
Dickson Etuhu – functional holding midfielder, at his peak
Danny Murphy – good midfielder, on the downside of his career
Damien Duff – good midfielder, on the downside of his career but still with much to offer
Simon Davies – good midfielder, probably just about passing his peak
Zoltan Gera – good midfielder, at his peak
Bobby Zamora – mercurial forward, can he sustain last year’s levels?

Then you might throw in Clint Dempsey as a player on the up.

Having a squad of experienced players at their peaks is far from a problem, but where is a manager going to build?   Put another way, even if he comes in and comes up with a decent approximation of stability, there is still a bit to do.

The league doesn’t stand still.  Every season players are brought in, teams improve, someone else gets better.   You have to keep moving.   Arguably the new manager will have to find a new goalkeeper, a new left back, a new central midfield partnership, and someone to score goals.

Now, most managers seem to like building a team of their own players, so this isn’t a problem as such, but again, if we’re to be pessimistic, there’s not much in the squad that a new manager could look at and say “yes, this is what I’m building around”.   Am I being unfair to the current squad here?   Possibly.  But as suggested in the past, this is Roy’s machine.   What if nobody else can get it to work?

If you have to find a number of key players then you need money, and again, I wonder if this money is available?   We don’t yet know whether MAF’s Harrod’s bonanza is going to help Fulham or not, but I think it’s safe to assume that we won’t suddenly see untold millions suddenly appearing, at least beyond the new manager’s requisite “let me bring in a couple of players” fund.

And if the new manager wants to raise money, what does he do?   I’ve been negative about the whole concept of re-sale value in the past because re-sale is the future, and I always figured Roy would know what to do to evolve the squad the right way.   But it’s not his team now, and the dynamics change if a new man has to shape things.   Who could he sell to raise cash?   Hangeland and Dempsey are the only players with reputations that might raise decent change, but would you sell your defensive lynchpin and one of the brighter flair players in the squad?  Zamora might attract interest too.  Where then?

The new man would be faced with a team that had just peaked, following a (then) beloved manager who had taken the side to a European final.   The only way is down isn’t it?      You’ll note that Harry Redknapp has made a name for himself taking on teams that are underachieving and whipping them into shape.  He’s good at that, but it can lead to (I think) a slight over-estimation of his powers.     What Redknapp would not do is take on a team that had been over-achieving, as the subsequent decline would do nothing for his reputation.    True, we might not decline, but the chances of us improving dramatically on last season are slight.      Is this the sort of situation a top manager would be interested in?  Is the Premier League that attractive?

Not to me.    The more I think about it, the more I believe we’ll get a manager “on the up”, or someone with a reputation to rebuild.   Neither of which would be a bad thing, of course, but we must be realistic.

For whatever it’s worth, the team tonight was:

Fulham: Stockdale (Etheridge 77); Stoor (Marquez 86), Hangeland (Hughes 45), Kelly, Konchesky (Smith 45); Duff (Davies 45), Greening (Harris 77), Baird (Marsh-Brown 63), Riise (Saunders 63); E. Johnson (Trotta 79), Elm (Gera 45).

Which probably tells us little about anything, given World Cup holidaymaker absences.     David Stockdale saved a penalty, goals came from Baird, Elm, Duff, Johnson and Davies. Highlights (from TiFF):

Here it is:

We’ll pass by the marketing speak (a v-neck bringing personality?)  to conclude that the shirt looks really good.   Nice one, and a relief to be rid of those Nike templates.   What do you think?

The 2010 World Cup finals have drawn to a close. Unlike Richard, I can’t say I’ve particularly enjoyed it. Maybe I’m getting old, maybe I just didn’t see enough live games but this tournament failed to generate the excitement I’ve felt with previous years. There were moments though; Ghana did Africa proud, Germany entertained, Spain were incredible and Forlan worked his magic for Uruguay. Spain deserve to be champions and have reminded the world how football ought to be played.

Fulham had a record high of five representatives (six if you count Senderos) and this got me thinking about the top five Fulham players to have appeared in the World Cup finals whilst still at the club.

1. George Cohen (England, 1966) – It wasn’t a hard decision to pick the number one slot. George played in all six games and was a vital member of England’s only World Cup winning slot. If only Zamora hadn’t needed surgery on his achilles perhaps Fabio would have come back a happier man. Cohen was a mainstay in a defence that didn’t concede a goal until Eusebio scored for Portugal in the 82nd minute of the semi-final. One of the enduring images of the competition is Alf Ramsey stopping George from swapping shirts with one of the Argentineans after what had been a very physical contest. Cohen was left with a shirt with a four foot long sleeve. Cohen would almost certainly have featured in the England side that went to Mexico in 1970 had injury not cut his career short.
Apps = 6 Goals = 0 Furthest round = Winner

2. John Paintsil (Ghana, 2010) – Ghana’s progress was one of the undoubted highlights of 2010. Deservedly progressing to the knockout stages from a tough group in which they only lost to a vibrant Germany. They went on to win a closely fought game with the USA, before the heartbreak of a penalty defeat to Uruguay after one of the great World Cup injustices. In reaching the quarter-finals they’d gone one stage further than in 2006 but came oh so close to becoming the first ever African semi-finalists. Paintsil was present for all 5 matches and was a focal point of the team spirit. His post match lap of honour, flying the Ghanaian flag high brought a smile to the face. He also created a new set of trivia questions for future sports quizzes everywhere, adding a new misspelling of his name (Panstil) during the Serbia win and choosing to play in a shirt with one long sleeve and one short sleeve.
Apps = 5 Goals = 0 Furthest round = Quarter Final

3. Johnny Haynes (England, 1958 & 1962) – Our greatest ever player was also our representative to make most World Cup appearances. Haynes played in both the 1958 and 1962 World Cups though neither proved to be successful. In Sweden, Haynes featured in all four games, drawing with the Soviet Union, Brazil (the only team Brazil failed to beat that year) and Austria (Haynes scoring England’s first goal) before losing to the Soviet Union in a playoff. Four years later Haynes was Captain and led England to qualify from the group stages before losing 3-1 to Brazil in the quarter-finals. This was to be Haynes last ever England cap, after a bike crash later the same year kept him out of the game for almost a year. The fall out from the ’62 World Cup resulted in some major changes to the way the national side was run. Alf Ramsey was appointed in 1963 and became the first English coach to have complete control over team selection.
Apps = 8 Goals = 1 Furthest round = Quarter Final

4. Steve Finnan (Republic of Ireland, 2002) – Stevie Finnan was one of my favourite Fulham players and it had been his cross that had allowed Jason McAteer to score the goal that qualified the Republic for these finals. Despite this he started their opening fixture, against Cameroon, on the bench. Coming on at half time to replace McAteer when the Republic were a goal down. They drew that match and Finnan remained in the team from then on as they drew with Germany and beat Saudi Arabia 3-0. They met Spain in the last 16 and had to fight back from conceding a goal in the 8th minute. Ian Harte missed a penalty before Robbie Keane stepped up to pull the scores level, also from the spot, in the final minute of normal time. A fraught penalty shoot out saw Ireland miss three consecutive efforts, but Finnan successfully despatched his effort to bring the scores level at 2-2. Relief was short lived though, as Gaizka Mendieta slotted his shot away and Spain went through to the next round.
Apps = 4 Goals = 1 pen Furthest round = Last 16

5. Brian McBride (USA, 2006) – 2006 was McBride’s third World Cup and probably not one he’ll remember fondly. The USA struggled in a very tough group, failing to qualify for the knockout stage and finishing bottom of their group. Brian makes it into my top five (ahead of Clint Dempsey, who with 4 appearances and a goal in 2010 has a good claim to this spot) due to a display of tenacity and determination against Italy. The US could not afford to lose after an opening game horror show that saw them lose 3-0 to the Czech Republic. Italy took the lead but a sliced clearance from Cristian Zaccardo ended in his own net and brought USA level. Seconds later a shocking elbow from De Rossi left McBride with blood streaming down his face and saw the Italians down to ten men. A poor challenge from Mastroeni earned another straight red, and then a second yellow for Eddie Pope left the States with nine men. They fought on regardless and, thanks to some fabulous goal keeping from Kasey Keller, held on for the point.
Apps = 3 Goals = 0 Furthest round = Group

Fulham’s other World Cup representatives were; Luis Boa Morte (1 sub app Portugal, 2006), Carlos Bocanegra (3 apps for USA, 2006), Clint Dempsey (4 apps and a goal for USA, 2010), Mark Schwarzer (3 apps for Australia, 2010), KG (3 apps for South Africa, 2010), Dickson Etuhu (3 apps for Nigeria, 2010)

Spain it is then.  A lot of commentary seems to revolve around the quality of the tournament (or lack thereof), but I’ve enjoyed the games and felt that it was a worthy World Cup.

The final wasn’t quite the spectacle many had in mind, but the Dutch approach to tackling set Howard Webb intriguing problems, and the whole thing became pretty riveting to me.

A few more qualms:

This isn’t the Dutch side of 1974.
No, but if you’re not organised in 2010 you won’t get to World Cup Finals.  Argentina tried to get away with an old-school approach to football and look what Germany did to them.   Holland played it just about perfectly, and had they managed to keep the ball a bit better, had Robben managed to escape his markers, had van Persie’s role been better emphasised, they could have won the whole thing.

This is a great Spain side.
Equally, people seem half-dismissive of this wonderful Spanish side.  Again, this is 2010, you don’t often waltz through the tightly packed defences that your reputation ensures you will meet time and again.   There’s something to the suggestion that Spain could have used Llorente more to give them a different look up front, but it all worked out in the end didn’t it?    Again, if a team went toe-to-toe with Spain they’d get murdered, so instead all they saw was packed and organised defences.   We saw in the Champions League how much of a problem this can be.  Spain deserve all kinds of credit for getting through and winning the World Cup.

This has been a dull World Cup
Has it?  The group games – as they often are under the 32 team format – were somewhat hit or miss, but still we saw plenty of fun.

Going through in turn, in the Group A we saw South Africa’s attempts to outdo their limitations come just short of what was needed.   In the same group we had the magic of Forlan, the absurdity of France (disgraceful) and the pleasing pass and move Mexicans.

In Group B Argentina threatened to surprise us all, Korea entertained, and Nigeria shot themselves in the foot and failed to qualify.

Group C was England’s to win, and that didn’t happen.  A poor but predictable draw with the Americans, followed by custard pie 0-0 draw with Algeria and a relatively impressive 1-0 win over Slovenia ensured that the delusions went on for a few more days.   Meanwhile the Americans scored late to beat Algeria and deny Slovenia, whose tournament was impressive, all things considered.

I took days off to watch Group D and wasn’t disappointed.  Germany destroyed Australia and opened the world’s eyes; Ghana showed some African gumption and beat Serbia.  Serbia then beat Germany.  Germany then beat Ghana.  Australia beat Serbia.   It was a crazy, up and down group, but in the end the right teams went through.

Group E disappointed me a bit, in that another African side (Cameroon) disappointed, while Holland and Denmark weren’t amazing.  This allowed a terrific Japan side to sneak through, their destruction of Denmark particularly memorable.

Group F saw New Zealand exit as the tournament’s only unbeaten team, and Italy exit as the tournament’s biggest underachievers.   

Group G involved some plucky work by North Korea, first holding Brazil, then collapsing against a rampant Portugal side.  Otherwise this went to form, although Ivory Coast were disappointing.

Finally, Group H, the other group I took days off to watch.  Chile thrilled with their high-octane 3-1-3-3 or whatever it was, Spain stumbled to defeat against a miserly Switzerland side but recovered after that, and Honduras were more or less making up the numbers.   A fun group though.

The round of 16 was pretty dull, England v Germany excepted, but the quarter finals were thrilling: Ghana v Uruguay was extraordinary, football giving all it can, Spain v Paraguay had some crazy twists and turns, and Germany’s thrashing of Argentina was every bit as conclusive as their win over England (note to teams:  don’t overcommit against this lot; they’re not bad on the counter).  Holland got rid of Brazil, again suggesting that they’re not half bad.  Brazil, arguably the best side in the competition other than Spain, really blew it here.

And the semi finals were fun too.  Holland v Uruguay was a cracker, as was Spain v Germany.   The third place playoff was good fun.   And yeah, the final was different, but not uninteresting.

No, I’ve loved this World Cup, and am gutted that it’s over.   We remember the high points of these tournaments and forget the dull spells, but looking back, there was plenty here to enjoy.   The Jabulani was clearly doing the exact opposite of what it was meant to do (nobody could control it), which really didn’t help, but as the tournament progressed the better players came into their own.

Defensive tactics?  Well yea, that’s the game isn’t it?   Unless you drop down to 9-a-side the problem won’t go away.  The players’ organisation and fitness has effectively shrunk the pitch, leading to crowds, attacking difficulty and tight games.  There are a number of ways around this:  Spain’s was to keep the ball and keep probing, and let their quality come through in the end.  Germany’s approach was to sit back and hit teams on the counter.  Holland tried to come up with a halfway house between the two, six defensive players and four creative players.

England belched in this general direction as well, but against weaker teams lacked the guile to Spain their way through, and against stronger teams lacked the gumption to time their counter-attacks.  The Germany defeat was embarrassing in this sense, the epitomy of headless football.

But this isn’t about England.  Well done Spain, well done South Africa, well done various others… here’s my team of the tournament (4-2-3-1):

Richard Kingson (Ghana), ridiculed by half-bright commentators for not having an English club, produced a Grobbelaar like series of games in which all kinds of fun was seen, including some fantastic saves.  Alternated between lilac and brown goalkeeping kits, playing well in both.

Sergio Ramos (Spain), a terrific right-back who epitmises everything required of that position in 2010.  Fast strong, can cross and even get in the box.  Great player.

Maximiliano Pereira (Uruguay).  I just thought he was brilliant.

Mauricio Victorino (Uruguay).  FIFA.com describes him as “He possesses a ferocious right boot and is a worthy ambassador for the garra charrua, that famous Uruguayan sense of bravery in adversity.” And that seems about right to me.  Victorino and Pereira just looked like defenders, wonderful in the tackle, brave, quick, balanced.  It was just a pleasure to watch them play.   Throwback players.

John Paintsil (Ghana). Seriously.  He did really well, and it was interesting to see Ghana send him into the box from set pieces.   I was struck by JP’s leadership, his calmness out there.   I have him at left-back because Ramos is so good, but John would be cool with that I’m sure.

Bastian Schweinsteiger (Germany) – arguably Germany were the team of the tournament, and Schweinsteiger ran the team from midfield.   He was simply awesome, particularly so in the England and Argentina games.  Also pretty good defensively.

Xavi (Spain) predictable no doubt, but hey, the man’s a master isn’t he?  I wouldn’t have him in here if he wasn’t brilliant to watch, but he is, he’s fantastic.

Alexis Sanchez (Chile) was a wonderfully direct, tricky winger of the kind you might well have found in a 60s Brazil side.   Chile were so much fun that they demand representaion in this team.   Sanchez is my pick.

Diego Forlan (Uruguay) is class.  In every way.  He scored 5 goals for a defensive team, played all over the place, now a deep-lying playmaker, now a predator in the box.  This is what Wayne Rooney should be aspiring to in international football.  Man’s an absolute master, and in days gone by would be acclaimed as such.  I just wish commentators would forget Manchester United:  he’s scored stacks of goals since then and has no need to prove himself to anyone.  Deserved his golden ball award.

Andres Iniesta (Spain) see Xavi.  Lovely to see him score the winner, even lovelier to see the Daniel Jarque t-shirt underneath.  Brought a tear to my eye.   Class player, unselfish, creative, touch, movement, vision… ah, it’s all there isn’t it?  Terrific.

Asamoah Gyan (Ghana), a star performance even before the penalty thing.  Gyan was an extraordinary loan striker, worth all the praise he got.  Then, to miss like that, then to score like that.  Good lad.  I’d have him in my team every week.

It was 1986.  Mum and Dad bought a video recorder, which enabled us to watch Mexican time football after school in England.  One of my first memories was waking up and finding  a note on my pillow:  “England won.  Gary Lineker scored a hat-trick” and if that doesn’t set you up for the day when you’re ten years old, nothing will.  

I had only just graduated from a small Weetabix radio (save up tokens, send, wait the obligatory 28 days, receive), a bright yellow thing the size of a large matchbox.  On this I had first learned of Gary Lineker’s excellence, listening intently as he scored his first international goal against Republic of Ireland at Wembley (this was 26 March 1985, I now discover; interesting how you can piece your childhood together by these things).  

In those days football coverage wasn’t *entertainment*, it was… football coverage.   Listening to the match develop through a small plastic Weetabix box, you felt, to borrow the cliche, that you were there in the crowd.  The commentary was excitable when we attacked, worried when we defended.  It wasn’t about one egotist’s opinions, it was about conveying the action.  I loved it.  Because you couldn’t see anything every attack felt dangerous, at either end.  You didn’t have a commentator telling you how bored he was, you just got action, action, action.  Or so it felt.

England marched on through Mexico 86, qualifying after that Poland win and then finishing off Paraguay in the next game, Peter Beardsley springing to mind when I think about that match.  Next it was Argentina, and you all know what happened there.  My memory is not of Maradona’s brilliance, but of England’s ineptitude:  how long do you want to escort this man down the pitch then?  Oh, he’s gone all the way and scored.  Well done, defence.   And just as I think of Beardsley when I think of the Paraguay game, Argentina is about John Barnes, who came on late and ripped Argentina to shreds, pinging over what seemed like cross after cross from that left flank, one of which Lineker turned in, another just evading our heroic centre-forward.

And so England were out, but that didn’t really matter as there was much still to play for.  Argentina played Belgium in the semi-finals, and this was a game with quite the family tree:  in the first knockout round  Belgium beat USSR 4-3, an amazing game (Belgium had beaten Iraq, lost to Mexico and drawn with Paraguay in the groups; Russia had stunned Hungary 6-0 (I have this game on DVD), beaten Canada, and held France with the help of a Vasily Rats screamer).  Also in this round, Spain beat Denmark 5-1, the same Denmark that had looked for all the world like champions in waiting in the groups (6-1 against Uruguay, for instance:  untouchable (not that the Uruguayans didn’t try), Germany(2-0) and Scotland (1-0)).   Then Belgium beat Spain to set up their semi, and got thoroughly unraveled by the genius of Maradona. 

In the other half West Germany played France, the Germans awkwardly knocking out Morocco, France getting rid of Italy, *then* France beat Brazil, brilliantly, and West Germany beat the hosts on penalties.  I remember parts of all this, but my 10 year old mind seems to have been more in tune with the Argentina (England) half of the draw.   Germany beat France, then met the Argies in the final.

It was brilliant.  Looking back, I saw the end of the 1990 World Cup Final in Cople Cricket Club clubhouse (having returned from an away game somewhere else), the 1994 Final in my mate Dan’s house, the 1998 and 2002 finals are a blank, but 1986 was there, in our lounge at home.   I’m fairly sure of this.

We sat and saw Jose Luis Brown score for Argentina (Brown?  Not very Argentinian is it?), then Jorge Valdano sprinted clear to make it 2-0 (the West Germany defence must have been playing a high line to squeeze the game and push Maradona back into his own half).   Then the much hyped Karl-Heinz Rumenigge (one of those player I think I never saw the best of) scored from close range after a corner, then so did Rudi Voller, one of those in front of the ‘keeper headers that seemed to be all the rage back then (Carl Shutt of Sheffield Wednesday scored one like that, Lineker did it sometimes, too), and all of a sudden it was 2-2.

The fun thing here was the sporting gods’ next act, to dash West German hopes in one clever through ball.   At 2-0 down they were out of it; at 2-2 they had the momentum; then the whole thing was done with, Maradona in midfield, surrounded, an exquisite dink and there goes Burrachaga, on, on, on, then past Schumacher and in, the World Cup decided.

(Halmstads BK, 1978)

One of the outtakes from the book (what with me having no rights on the picture and all).

Anyway, the club’s going on a pre-season tour of Sweden, playing Halmstads and Malmo.   I was going to go on a similar trip to research the Roy part of the Fulham Review, but the Europa League final came and took my money (not that I’m complaining!) so this sounds brilliant.  Work commitments make it impossible for me to attend, but if anyone else does, take lots of pictures!

Further to Chopper’s excellent work, the field is thinning out and we seem to be left with a shortlist of Sven, Slaven Bilic and Mark Hughes.

Sven, as I’ve said elsewhere, would be the continuity choice.  He learned the game in Sweden at a time when Roy and Bob Houghton were very influential.   Sven took their methods and used them to make Gothenberg successful.  He has, more or less, adhered to the same kinds of approach ever since, staying true to defensive solidity at the expense of attacking fireworks (look at Ivory Coast 2010 and England 2006 for evidence of this).   There are parallels with Roy’s situation pre-Fulham (success, financially inspired wilderness, Fulham), so if his wages aren’t an issue, and if he can convince the board that he is serious about Fulham, he’d be a good choice.   Sven’s career win percentage as a manager is 52%, bolstered by some devastating teams at Benfica (77% and 68%!).   At City he won 42% of his games.  (Roy’s winning percentage at Fulham was 39%, by way of a benchmark, accepting of course that different quality players affect these things).

Mark Hughes is another good option in that he has a decent track record at Wales, Blackburn and Man City, and his playing career at United, Barcelona, Bayern Munich and even Chelsea would command respect.   His career win percentage as a manager is 42%, 46% at Man City (although he was starting to ‘benefit’ from the Arab billions here).

Slaven Bilic is the other candidate, and my favourite.   Here are some quotes from when Croatia beat England:

“Wake up. You didn’t lose the game because of the tactics. I admire your team but we’re simply a better team.”

“I read in your papers that no Croatian would start in the England team – that’s ridiculous, wake up.”

And he was right (he then went on to say that “there are good players in small countries too”).

This honesty is refreshing.  It’s not overblown “look at me” tubthumping, but an honest (and correct) reaction to a game in which he felt his players had not received the credit they deserved.   Bilic knows English football, is an intelligent man (good chapter on him in Jonathan Wilson’s “Behind the Curtain” book), and has that something about him.   While Roy was brilliant in his post-match interviews, Mark Hughes is a blamer, and I don’t like that.  Sven is the master of the non-statement, beaming vacantly and saying absolutely nothing (“Weeeell..”).   Bilic would be different, a good ambassador for the club, and if his record as a club manager is untested (relative to Sven’s), he has shown enough gumption to suggest that he is worth a crack.  I think MAF might see something he likes in the slightly “out there” Bilic, while Sven might seem somehow unsubstantial and Mark Hughes somehow… well I don’t know.

If it’s all about Premiership survival then Hughes would appear to be the most solid choice.   If it’s about building on what Roy has achieved, going to a ‘next level’ then we need MAF’s Harrods money and Sven.   Otherwise, Bilic intrigues me and I’d like him to have a go.