Notice the eccentric and loveable Louis Nicollin (aka Loulou) – Montpellier president – sporting a new barnet, bottom right.

“It was a dark and stormy night” – as Craven Cottage’s own Edward Bulwer-Lytton might have put it. Despite Montpellier needing only a point against already relegated Auxerre to win Ligue 1 there was still a feeling that it would never be that simple, as indeed was the case.

The first drama came twenty minutes in – Oliver Kapo puts Auxerre 1-0 up against Montpellier. The balance of le championnat swings so unexpectedly in the direction of Paris.

Then, not ten minutes after the Auxerre goal PSG go a goal down to Lorient. Almost immediately following this deserved Lorient lead, record signing Javier Pastore misses two golden opportunities to equalise. This is too much to bear for the travelling Parisiens, who force the game to be stopped briefly as the flares rain down.

While PSG were forced to contemplate how they’d wasted a chance to go top when John Utaka – yes, John Utaka of Pompey fame – equalises for Montpellier. Game on Montpellier.

PSG then begin their comeback. In quarter of an hour Pastore and Motta put PSG in the lead. Could two Qatari signings save PSG’s season?

Fans angry at Auxerre’s disappointing season (but were nevertheless impressive this evening) give us our second major delay of the evening, again, after flares are thrown on the pitch. This time for almost half an hour. The local authority dictated that riot police must evacuate the aggrieved stand before play can continue. During this time we see the PSG team huddled around a television waiting to see if Auxerre might be able to win the title for them.

As it stands, of course, at 1-1, Montpellier are still set to win the title. But they have plenty of time to reflect on the fact that if they slip up – the title goes to Paris. So close, yet so far from achieving one of the most remarkable stories in European football. How will this delay affect them?

Shortly after play restarts Montpellier star (and Les Bleus star this summer?) Oliver Giroud almost puts Montpellier in the lead with a blistering shot that Sorin is good to get his fingers to. Both Giroud and Paris’s Nene are on 21 goals. How sweet a title-winning goal that gives him the golden boot?

In fact it takes 6 minutes following the crowd trouble before John Utaka – yes, again, John Utaka of Pompey fame – scores his second on the night to win a historic first title for Montpellier Hérault Sport Club.

…

“It was like Fulham won the Premier League”

This was the outcome that French football fans wanted. This is everything that is wonderful about French football. Montpellier had spent a fraction of newly wealthy PSG – €2 million and €160 million, respectively. People had expected Montpellier to struggle after losing some of their better players. At the start of the season they were 109 to 1 to win the title.

This made Montpellier’s title win more poignant in some respects. It is true that France is in desperate need of a force in Europe – Ligue 1 has just dropped out of the big five leagues in Europe – but it feels like an end of an era in which anyone might win. Even given Olympique Lyonnais’s seven season run of titles, Ligue 1 has had more winners in the modern era (i.e. the Sky Sports era – forgive me!) and Montpellier’s win has given us a fifth winner in five seasons. Does a Paris dominant in Europe come at the expense of losing some of Ligue 1′s magic?

Dominic Conquest is a Norfolk bor and Fulham fan since 2007/08 (the glory Sanchez days) after moving to London. Francophile and reluctant Parisien.

******.

Anyway, Chelsea are victorious after dodging a thousand Barcelona and Bayern Munich shots and springing the odd random goal JUST when it was needed. Assuming that Roman Abramovich hasn’t bought his way into God’s great control booth in the sky, this is good old fashioned luck and good old fashioned defending. I confess that last night’s performance was quite enjoyable in John Terry’s absence – I’m a huge Ashley Cole fan and Gary Cahill’s performance had much to admire in it. Juan Mata seems like a good chap and I’m even warming more to Didier Drogba as the years go by. It was fun football in the end, even if the result was (more or less) a travesty (again, and that again is the crucial thing really isn’t it? Can’t be a fluke if they can do this to order), you can’t fault the drama.

This is arguably the worst side in Abramovich’s time, which is perhaps why they won. Abandoning any notions of fighting toe-to-toe, Chelsea left few gaps to exploit, and remain defensively strong enough to repel a lot of what even the best teams can throw their way.  You need something about you to win this trophy and pretty much everything went right, most notably that Barca and Real Madrid fought out a classico just before the semis, but Chelsea did their bit and are in some senses worthy winners (less so in other senses).

Bayern didn’t help themselves always – I read that Arjen Robben had 23 shots, which is more than most teams come up with in 90 minutes and somewhat shows his playground ball-hogging in its worst light.  Yeah he’s a great player, but sometimes he seems to take things that bit too far.

It’s a very fine Bayern side and I’m sad that they weren’t able to win – that’s two defeats against defensive teams in three years now. Such is football, of course.

Richard Allen founded this website in 2006. This is him at a wedding last year.

I don’t care if there’s no ‘end product’. I’ve honestly never seen a footballer who’s as fun to watch as Mousa Dembele.

We sit in what I used to think of as “Paintil Corner”, the area of the Riverside where John Paintsil was most active when defending the Hammersmith End.  The thing with being that close to the action is that you lose a lot of perspective, but you do grow to appreciate the speed and nimbleness of top level football. Everything is bang-bang-bang, and the gifted players alone are able to come up with constructive solutions to messy problems.

Danny Murphy can do that thing where the ball rolls across his body. Bryan Ruiz has Chris Waddle’s ability to glide beyond a hypnotised defender on the back of no obvious deception. Dembele is extraoardinary. He reminds me of Barry Sanders or one of those great American Football running backs, his balance and acceleration being such that he’s working to different rules to everyone else. And up close you really get to see how impressive this is. He’s quick, but he’s strong and decisive as well. It’s brilliant to see him receive the ball, shift it in that da-de-da-de-gone! way of his: The Hammersmith Quickstep, gone in half a second.

He couldn’t be more different to Clint Dempsey, not least in their attitudes to goals. Dempsey’s best when he’s arriving and hitting the ball first time; Dembele almost sees it as his duty to take a few touches (and earlier in the year this was frustrating people). Outside of tackling (which we know he’s good at) I honestly can’t remember him doing anything ‘out of control’, at least not in the getting your shorts dirty sense. So while Dempsey will crash the area on the off chance, Dembele lurks, sits back, waiting to do things on his own terms. Dempsey thrives because he’s better able to interpret chaos than others; Dembele’s is a more orderly form of genius. It’s part of why they’ve become such terrific team-mates.

Fulham have cobbled together an attacking unit that can beat you in a number of ways. It’s a work in progress and still needs pace somewhere (can we have Valencia, Sir Alex?) but the parts in this machine are about as good as we can hope for. Losing Dembele and Dempsey in one summer would be a huge shame. I don’t doubt that we could replace them to the extent that we could finish top 10 again, but these two are unusual, and were the league not so very competitive, could easily lead Fulham to something strange.

It won’t happen, but I hope both go to clubs where they’ll play regularly and have a chance to thrive. Dempsey feels perhaps a year late on this; Dembele perhaps a year early, but both will command big money. We’re not going to say no, I don’t imagine.

Richard Allen founded Craven Cottage Newsround in 2006. This is him at a wedding last year.

Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix pay football. Hat tip to Adam Spangler via Bruce McGuire.

Here’s a guest post from Shaz Rahman, who wonders how England might set up now they’ve got a squad.

Now that we know the 23 man squad for Euro 2012 we can start speculating how England will lineup against France in the first group game.  In one sense England’s squad is pretty bleak reading as there are very few names on that list of 23 players who will frighten the likes of Spain, Germany and the Netherlands. On the bright side recent performances against Spain and Netherlands have demonstrated that England do still have something about them.  It’s interesting to contrast these games though: a defensive display with a goal from a set piece beat a tired Spain, whereas an expansive and open display against Holland resulted in a 2-3 loss with Robben running riot.

Ignoring the obvious fact that nobody really attacks Spain, I still believe England will be best served following the functional route. We don’t necessarily have the players to beat the likes of Germany and Spain with attacking football. We will have to accept that possession will not be ours for the majority of the matches against the top teams (e.g. the knockout rounds, which could be cagey and play into our hands). This means that defensively we will have to be very strong. I would go with a 4-4-2 with a rigid two banks of four in defence. I would try to break with pace on the wings as there well could be space if the oppositions full backs push on to attack. One area I think we would struggle with in this approach is trying to break down weaker teams like the Ukraine. However I do think it is the right way to go as it gives us highest chance of success against the best teams.
On to the team itself.

(Ed – Bonus points to Shaz for leaving out him)

Team orders

In modern football full backs have become crucial attacking players. Cole and Johnson are very good at this. Johnson would have to communicate well with Walcott, both in attack and defence, or that flank could be a mess. On the left side Young can cut inside allowing Cole to provide the overlap. In the centre of midfield Parker would need to act as a kind of third centre back, providing protection to the defence, especially when the full backs push up as well as passing the ball to retain possession. Gerrard can roam forward to provide support for Defoe/Rooney and Carroll in the final third. Carroll would try to hold the ball up or flick the ball on to Defoe or Gerard. I would also place a high amount of emphasis on set pieces. When Rooney comes into the team I would try to keep him higher up the pitch. Rooney would need to link well with Gerard. In defence as long as we keep the two banks of four we can afford to have Rooney run around like a man possessed. The focus of the attacks would be to counter attack with speed down the wings.
In terms of our hopes for the tournament I expect us to draw with France and beat Sweden as well as the Ukraine. I think we will lose to Spain in the quarter finals. Reaching the quarter finals would be a success. By 2014 we should see a different England, where some of the 2012 squad are more established and some of the better young players not at this tournament have developed into what we hope they might be.

You may have missed it amid all the hoopla in Manchester and our own hand-wringing over Clint Dempsey’s absence and subsequent future, but Madrid was really the place to be on Sunday.

No, not at the Santiago Bernabéu where Real Madrid celebrated their title-winning season with a GF and GD that makes a mockery of the competition.

Instead, the Campo de fútbol de Vallecas, the 15,550 capacity home to Rayo Vallecano and the smallest stadium in La Liga (and 10k smaller than Craven Cottage), was the site of utter pandemonium. Sid Lowe of theguardian:

Rayo 0 Granada 0 in Vallecas. For the last 32 minutes, it had been kill or be killed: both came up from the Second Division last summer, Rayo had been away for a decade, Granada for three of them. One of them was going back again. In the last 30 seconds that had changed with a goal 401 kilometres away, but amid the tension, the noise and the desperation, few realised that they could both survive. Raúl Tamudo had missed a sitter for Rayo; a minute later, Jara had done the same for Granada. Now Rayo had a minute and a half to save the earth. David Cobeño went up for a corner. The trouble with sending your goalkeeper forward is that if you don’t score you have to send him back again. And so it was that in the 92nd minute, the very last seconds of the very last game, everyone knew that they had to run, and run like mad, but no one knew quite where to.

Seen from above, it appeared completely at random. Like someone had dropped a bomb into the middle of the pitch, sending everyone fleeing in different directions. The corner was cleared: Cobeño panicked and started sprinting back towards his own unguarded goal. Some team-mates went with him. Others went in the opposite direction; some right, some left, some up the pitch, some down. Granada’s players pursued, others protected. Desperate shouts from the touchline: Get back! Go forward! The ball was loose. Then it wasn’t. Some were dashing into the area, others dashing out of it. A shot, a rebound, through the defender’s legs, Michu stretching, the goalkeeper stretching, the ball off the bar, on the line. Tamudo there, a header. The ball in the net. It’s still moving when the first invasion starts; match and mayhem, merged seamlessly. Safety.

If you’ve had a chance to see some of the photos or video, it makes Fulham’s survival a few years ago look tame. And that’s not a slight to us, the raw emotion and jubilation was not lost on the crappy 400k stream I was watching. It was literally awesome.

And then the camera’s kept rolling and this happened:

This all reminded me of what happened here in Baltimore last fall. It reminded me of how the thrill of surviving might be more powerful than the thrill of victory. How amazing feats need a narrative or else they fall into oblivion.

It was a Wednesday night in late September. The haughty Boston Red Sox, in the midst of a record setting end-of-season collapse, came into the season finale against the lowly 93-loss Baltimore Orioles. A win and the Red Sox would still make the playoffs despite their nosedive. A loss and they’d perhaps at least make some odd play-in game, but it wasn’t a definite. They needed to beat a team that sucked.

I was at the first part of this game, but left around mid-7th inning once the thunder and lightning rolled in and didn’t look like leaving. It’s probably one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made of my life. (But how was I to know what would happen after the 90 minute rain delay??)

Trailing 3-2 with two outs in the bottom of the ninth: an Oriole doubled to deep right. Then, another double to even the score. And then, bloop single to left by the then-maligned Robert Andino. Winning run scores.

Boston lost and collapsed their way out of the playoffs (thanks in large part to New York collapsing against the Rays). The Baltimore Orioles are once again relevant in the national consciousnesses for not just for “winning”, but mostly, for surviving.

Johnathan Bernhardt for Et to, Mr. Destructo? and Tom Sccoca of deadspin have a wonderful recaps of what that game meant in terms of an overall narrative, so go read those. Now. But it’s this passage from Sccoca that sums it up for me:

Andino emerges from a pileup between second and third with his jersey untucked, and starts stalking back toward the home dugout. As he goes, he tips his head toward the visitors’ side. “Motherfuckin’ SHIT!” he says. The lip-reading is pretty straightforward. His hand flicks back, in dismissal. “TAKE YOUR ASS HOME!”

Sure, it’s profane. But it’s the essence of his celebration,similar to that of Rayo Vallecano’s Michu singing, dancing, spraying beer, et al in his jockstrap, is what is so moving. To finally be that center of attention; not because you came in second place but last place, for so long, is my sporting fandom raison d’etre.

And it’s that absence in regards to Fulham this season what made this past year seem so surreal. And made Clint Dempsey’s setting of club and American goal scoring records feel as if it existed in a vacuum.

This season didn’t really have much of a narrative. Fulham had no flirts with relegation like in 2002-03 when Coleman took over, 2007-08 when Roy took over, or even last year when Hughes struggled for the first half. Nor we were we really ever the EPL’s darling like we were in 2008-09 during our run to 7th, and 2009-10 during our fairly tale Europa run.

We were just fairly consistent at being mid-table. Because the team was doing “just okay”, there was nothing to attach his feats to like there might have been in any of the seasons above.

And so all we can really do is remember how great it all was; not how he saved our asses from the drop. Or put us into Europe. Or a cup final. (Perhaps it’s just pulling a double over Liverpool for the first time ever?)

And so the thought of losing him after all this stings more so than if it was him singing, dancing, spraying beer, et al in his jockstrap on video. Or telling Harry Redknapp to “TAKE YOUR ASS HOME” on the final day as we clinched a Europa spot (provided he was fit to play then).

Am I crazy to prefer that?

(featured image via @RVMOficial)

Tim Gelles is a writer for Craven Cottage Newsround. A Fulham fan since 2006 when he saw Fulham defeat an Iain Dowie led Charlton. He resides in Baltimore. His current headshot is temporary. E-mail him or follow him on twitter.

So, just how did Fulham finish ninth, their first ever back-to-back top 10 finish in the top flight?

Chances were, if we were winning at half, we’d win the game. And if we were losing, we had a better chance than most at getting something out of the match. And that’s not all:

• Never lost a single match when winning at half (10-1-0)
• Conceded just 4 goals in the second half when winning; one behind leaders Stoke City
• Finished 2nd overall in total points gained when losing at halftime with 8
• Finished 18th overall in total points gained when drawing at halftime with 13
• Tied with United overall for least amount of points dropped with just 6
• Yet, somehow, conceded 17 goals in the final 15 minutes, more than in 2007-08

How did our home record stack up with our away record?

• Had 7th best home record, behind every team that’s going to Europe
• Nipped Stoke City for *not* having the least away goals scored in the entire Football League.
• Swansea City was the only team in the bottom 10 that defeated us at home
• Liverpool was the only team in the top 10 we beat on the road
• Beat Arsenal, Norwich, Sunderland, Stoke, and Wigan all by 2-1 at home

Anything else cool that may have helped?

• Didn’t have a single red card all season
• Spurs’ win on Sunday meant they won the London Derbies Cup, though we conceded the least amount of goals
• Clint Dempsey set a whole bunch of records. And then some.

Got any other stats worth mentioning?

I don’t think John Terry is going to be going to the Euros. This week the Guardian’s Paul Wilson, the Sunday Times’ Jonathan Northcroft and the Evening Standard’s Patrick Barclay have all written columns explaining how they wouldn’t take Terry to the tournament.

I don’t know about Wilson, but Northcroft and Barclay know Hodgson well and would be on his list for any ‘off the record but write something about this’ briefings.

It makes a lot of sense. Plant the seed early so that when it happens the influential journalists can explain why this was, explain that they’d already written about this, and help shape overall opinion that this move is “a good thing”.

Just a theory but I’d perhaps put some money on it were such an avenue available to me.

In other news, what a masterstroke to get Gary Neville into the England camp! If Hodgson had a problem it was winning over young men who weren’t going to listen to this pensionable old man talk about the need to stand not there but there when the ball’s *there*. Hodgson would not pass any “show us your medals” tests, either.

That’s all sorted in a stroke. Gary Neville will command the respect of everyone in that team, and also have the strength of character to tell Hodgson when he’s pressing the wrong button.  It’s a managerial dream team in my eyes and again makes me wonder whether England aren’t going to surprise us now.

Hi all. Hope you like the new design, but more importantly, the new direction this site will take over the summer and coming season.

I don’t want to speak for the editor-in-chief, but we’re hoping the slight change of direction will breath some fresh life into this site that is going on its sixth year. (Right? It’s been that long?) Think of it as a step-up from simple blog to a digital fanzine.

Don’t worry, there will still be the same excellent editorial and match reports from Rich, but the site will also feature more video, music, and anything else we feel like sharing. We may also be looking to hear from additional voices, so stay tuned.

There may be some rough edges over the next week or so as we beta test this and that (due to the current setup, it’s all live), but it’ll all be smoothed out soon. I hope.

Cheers.

-Tim

[featured image via alfie priestley]

Some thoughts then:

Manchester City look a good team to me, but not as good a team as they should be. Carlos Tevez could have had this league sewn up some time ago, and the fact that they needed the 95th minute of the last game of the season suggests some under-achievement. They’ll win the next few though I imagine. Whoopee.

United did fantastically well to get so close, and will look back on that silly home defeat against Blackburn with horror. They’re well set for the future but it feels like they need another superstar in the middle of the park.  Perhaps Tom Cleverly is that man.

Arsenal will also look back on the season and wonder what might have been. If anything, their predicament teaches us not to panic if short term results go askew – this is football, bad things can happen to good teams, whatever Piers Moron might think.

Spurs are a fine team and with a world class centre-back and the retention of Adebayor might push on a level next season. But they need to keep Modric and Bale as well, and that won’t be easy.

Newcastle I have a lot of respect for.  They also raise the question of how much of a centre-forward’s success is his own and how much is the system he plays in?  Demba Ba scored a hatful then was moved sideways to accommodate Cisse, at which point Cisse scored a hatful. Are Newcastle just really good at creating good chances? In any case, they have a fine squad and I don’t think this is a fluke – should be top 7-8 next year, too.

Chelsea need to have a good hard look at themselves. If they wanted to stay as they were then why hire someone to change things? Villas Boas could, I’m sure, have just sat back from day one and let them good ol’ boys do their thing, but that wasn’t the brief, was it? How annoyed he must feel now. They have progressed with Ramires and Mata, fine players, but next year perhaps need to make Torres the focal point. At a strange juncture and it’s not immeiately clear where they go from here.

Everton managed to reunite that lovely Pienaar-Osman-Fellaini-Neville midfield and survived a terrible off year from Tim Cahill to finish more or less where they always do. Jelevic was a revelation for them up front. And they seem to have a couple of good young players, and the ever impressive Baines. Also Tim Howard, underrated for ages. So it’s all there and they’re a bit like Fulham, good, solid, but lacking that extra £50m or inspired signing or three to do a Newcastle.  Or did Newcastle just do an Everton and Fulham without the form dip? Perhaps.

Liverpool will have a big season next year. I don’t like them or what they have been up to but they had a comically unfortunate season, hitting the post more than anyone and converting a miniscule proportion of chances. Both of these almost have to be statistical freaks, outliers, and therefore likely to rebound to normalcy for the next season. This makes Liverpool a good bet to outperform expectations next time around I reckon.

Fulham did well, I think, and we’ll talk about this a bit more in due course, but inquiring minds are now wondering whether this team might take itself a bit more seriously as contenders. “The best of the rest” (as Jol put it) is probably about fair, and it’s greedy and probably wrong headed to take the second half of the season as the ‘real’ team while sweeping the first half under the carpet, but it’s tempting to wonder if we mightn’t have done a bit better overall.  We must remember that ‘transition’ word and point to the disruption that was Zamora as well as the Europa League farce, but I’m now wondering if we didn’t slightly waste Clint Dempsey’s golden farewell (if that’s what it is).

WBA did well, too, funnily enough. The amusing thing is that Roy started winning away games, which makes me wonder if the whole “Fulham away” thing does indeed transcend managers, playing styles, or anything, and simply “is”.

Swansea were a delight and were the top half of the table not so competitive would look to ‘kick on’ next year. As it is there’s really no room for anyone without lots of money so this is probably about as good as it gets. Yay Premier League.

Norwich are the same and like Swansea, have one of the better managers in the game. Norwich don’t have a signature style like Swansea but do have lots of players called Russell and Wesley and Bradley, which is quite something. If Lambert gets offered a big job I’d expect Norwich to plummet but who really knows? Eh?

Sunderland are lower than I’d have expected. Martin O’Neill is one of those managers who seems to be a little bit overrated but clearly he got his team playing well. Next year will be interesting though, I have some doubts.

Stoke… I can’t be bothered really.

Wigan defied belief, apparently by switching to three at the back. This raises all kinds of interesting questions about tactical flexibility in the English game, but fair play to them, it was one hell of a run in and if Martinez can get them playing before February then they might even finish in the lofty and much coveted 12-14 places.

Villa fans seem to be blaming their manager, and this might not be unreasonable, but against that, they did sell, y’know, all their good players. Football’s silly and doing things like ‘balancing books’ is not a good way to progress as a club. Randy Lerner must wonder what on earth he’s doing.

QPR survive, thus ensuring more southern games next year. It’s fashionable and funny to castigate Mark Hughes and his motley crew, but Hughes is a really good manager and they too will be fighting with us for the esteemed 9-13 places next season. It’s going to be epic.

Bolton didn’t, and have been a shambles for a while. (insert platitude about them, Blackburn and us coming up at same time). Frankly they’re not good enough to survive, and Owen Coyle seems to have been found out. You can’t have a centre-back pairing that contains the word “Zat” in this day and age and expect to progress.  They had some good players but Coyle couldn’t work out how to use them.

Blackburn were terrible too, and for all the pity aimed at Steve Kean, we must remember that until he was appointed Sam Allardyce had them firmly in mid-table and above. Kean’s ruined all that, his owners have produced some comedy moments, and all that’s stopping them flying all the way down the league is the Premiership Parachute Bonanza, which they might still misuse anyway.  Goodbye, Blackburn.

Wolves also deserved to go for comedy villain purposes (bye-bye Karl Henry). Like Villa they haven’t spent money for ages, and like Blackburn seem to have adopted the “let’s do some weird things” approach to operations. Not entirely clear where they turn now, but the squad should remain more or less intact because nobody will want them in the top division, so they’ll presumably soar reasonably high in the Championship. So we may well meet again.

Fulham was a team with little really to play for, a bad away record, and missing its leading scorer. They faced a Tottenham desperate to win at home and qualify for the Champions League under a suddenly refocused manager. Needless to say it was over after 90 seconds.

That’s not to say there were no bright spots on the day for our club who finish their 2011-12 Season 317 days after it started in a very respectable 9th spot. There were plenty in fact.

But at this point, with the title madness in Manchester and the lingering questions about the future of several key players seemingly overshadowing everything, does it amount to much beyond a round of applause and tip of the cap?

Well have more analysis on the match, and the season later. But for now…

The big news, which I’ve heretofore ignored as it made my head spin, is Roy Hodgson’s appointment as England manager. Never mind the Redknapp or speech impediment or press idiocy angles, what does this actually mean for England at Euro 2012?

I’m sure I’ve mentioned before how Roy’s early career directly influenced Sven-Göran Eriksson so all things being equal I’d expect something similar here. Sven essentially used Roy methods to become what he was, so let’s have a look at how he did at tournaments:

2002 – quite well, drawing with Sweden, beating the Argies, drawing with Nigeria, beating Denmark easily then losing unfortunately to Brazil.

At Euro 2004 England threw away a good situation against France, then beat Switzerland and Croatia. They lost on pens to Portugal.

At the 2006 World Cup England withdrew into themselves, beating Paraguay and Trinidad and Tobago, drawing with Sweden then beating Ecuador in the knockouts. Then Portugal happened again.

In short, we beat the sorts of teams we’d expect to beat, managed the occasional good result (Argentina and Denmark in 2002, Croatia in 2004), but the odd disappointment (we were awful in 2006 and messed up 2004 despite what might have been England’s best opportunity to really kick on).

Hodgson will know what he wants to do and will presumably be able to implement this reasonably effectively. I know we talk about him needing time to get his methods across but he’s been a successful international manager before and can be again. One issue might be the Liverpool factor, in which star players found his approach slightly beneath them, but at this point what are they going to do? It’s one thing sulking in club football; international football is different, especially at tournament level. Hodgson can be firm when he needs to be and I imagine he’ll more or less get what he wants.

And you can see how that might be enough. The group is not soft but not hard, and I imagine we might be able to negotiate France, Sweden and Ukraine (although we might not! The margins are so fine), and then we get to the interesting part.

As Fulham manager Hodgson steered the club past better teams to reach the Europa League final. Sure there was luck along the way, but the success was built on the shape and determination that he’ll surely be aiming for here. So if we do qualify in second and face Spain in the knockouts, well let’s face it, Spain wouldn’t be that happy to be facing a well drilled 4-4-2 would they? It’s exactly the sort of setup that seems to be able to undo Spain/Barca type approaches.  After that, anything’s possible.

So while I am frightened for Roy and will try to avoid newspapers during the tournament, I do think he can be successful. What do you reckon?

And if you are interested in betting on the tournament, England are around 10/1, which seems about right to me. I’ll see if I can find a spare fiver…

I was recently watching a documentary about Pearl Jam, the American rock band (still on iPlayer if you’re interested). It was strange: the first time you hear Eddie Vedder’s voice you do a sort of aural double take. *Christ*.  But in the end Pearl Jam lack a certain something and while there’s nothing inherently wrong with their output it’s somehow less than it ought to be. Years ago a friend of mine and I listened to their “Ten” album and decided that there wasn’t really much that could improve it, but now, probably 15 years later, it’s clear that we were wrong.

Not that you can dismiss the album in any way: it’s really good. The band themselves are good, too: Mike McCready’s an extraordinary guitarist and Vedder’s voice is like something a giant bear might come up with had it learned to speak human (then learned to sing well – I didn’t think this one through did I?).  It’s something beyond the norm, and explains why the band became so successful so quickly.  It was all just *there*, great, obviously great.

Sometimes it’s not that simple though. Sometimes that indefineable *it* is missing, and no amount of ability or longevity or anything else can give you it back. I’ll tell you how you know: Pearl Jam made an effort to be less ‘commercial’ in their sound and it sounded like they were making an effort to be less commercial in their sound, which to me was getting away from what they were good at. Contrast with Nirvana, who reacted against Nevermind’s over-production and commercial success with the implausibly good In Utero. Vedder’s attempt to get off the beaten track may have been a personal success but not a musical one; Cobain doing the same was an artistic triumph.

I don’t know what this is or why it happened, and after all it’s just a subjective judgement from someone who doesn’t know as much about these things as he thinks he does, but even so, I’m on to something here.

It’s why Fulham are so pleasant to watch at the moment, I think – there’s a primacy and recency effect in play here, I grant you – we ended the season in the best possible way – (how many dashes?!) but the team has just about enough of everything, in the following ways:

Much of this team has struggled together. Hangeland, Hughes, Dempsey, Murphy and Davies were all here in the bad times when we were all really glum. They bonded then and pulled this club through a terrible situation. We were with them every step of the way. We feel them, they feel us, we get them, they get us. They are Fulham players and deserve our respect and gratitude for their efforts. As QPR are finding, you can’t just buy a team. A team grows.

Beyond the relegation fun though, we went stratospheric, to a degree heretofore unimaginable. Mark Schwarzer and Damien Duff were part of the team that did this, too, so they’re in our hearts and minds as good eggs as well.

We’re still on about something that’s real about this team – there was a time not so long ago when we didn’t really know our players, we didn’t sing songs for them, we just watched them play. Now they are part of the club’s fabric. They are not Nickelback or Snow Patrol or some other lamentable excuse for a guitar band; they are our Nirvana, the best thing of its kind any of us will ever see or hear.  Because in addition to the soul issues mentioned above there’s a new authenticity to the team’s play.  Cast Roy Hodgson as Butch Vig, the man to do things the right way, but bring in Steve Albini or Scott Litt as Martin Jol, letting things go a bit, relinquishing a small amount of appropriate control for the common good and producing a team that can just be what it’s meant to be. Clint Dempsey is playing like a free man; Moussa Dembele is a talent so pure and exciting; John-Arne Riise looks like he’s never had so much fun on a football pitch.  It’s real.

This is why today’s team is so satisfying. It has a core that Roy Hodgson nurtured and made us believe in, but now it is becoming true to itself, becoming even more than the sum of its parts, becoming something really spectacular.

Nirvana stopped there; Pearl Jam carried on Pearl Jamming around for a while. This Fulham’s probably not going to be this good again but like the legions of Pearl Jam fans who follow their band everywhere, I’m sure we’ve got much to look forward to even if we never produce another “Ten”.

How about that then, eh? Fulham were absolutely fabulous, and deserved to score more than two against a good Sunderland side. More than anything it was a win that confirmed Martin Jol’s nous for teambuilding, taking Roy Hodgson’s stalwarts and making them thrilling. Everywhere you looked was someone at the top of their game and Sunderland may very well have traveled back north shaking their heads: how could they have seen that coming?

Fulham took the lead with a Clint Dempsey thunderbolt. “That’s in” I said as soon as the ball left his boot, and so it proved, flying past Mignolet’s dive and into the corner. 50 league goals for Clint? If so, a terrific milestone for a terrific player – we must hope he sees it that way and, furthermore, makes it his business to double the tally.

Sunderland weren’t here to make up the numbers and came back at us. Schwarzer made a couple of good saves (one throwing himself at the feet of a forward was particularly fine) but had no chance with a Phil Bardsley belter, the ball fading away from him and into the far corner.

But but but! There went Dembele in, out, roundabout, bang, goal. Suspect it got a deflection on the way but hey, you can count the number of players in this league who could’ve scored that goal on about one finger. Manchester United representatives will have been watching Sunderland today; one hopes they didn’t notice anyone in white because currently Dembele’s playing like a late vintage Ryan Giggs, with extra tackling. He, Murphy and Diarra must, between them, be about a good as midfield as Fulham have ever had, or could ever hope to have. If only they were all 25.

That was all the scoring, although Fulham could’ve had more. Dempsey nearly scored with a smart prod from a corner, only to see the ball headed off the line. Dembele nearly bagged a fabulous solo goal, only for Mignolet to perform miracles for what felt like the thousandth time (but probably wasn’t).

It wasn’t just chances though, the performance just oozed excellence. Our passing was wonderful, a cut above anything we’ve put together in recent memory. Murphy, ace organiser, gave a 10/10 display in the middle of the park: he’s like a grand-master playing speed chess, calculating from all possibilities and choosing the best in a fraction of a second, whether playing simple passes to nearby runners or launching a missile from one flank to another, he’s absolutely *on* at the moment. Age? Pah. Nobody else can pass like that. Diarra (who had another “there are three of him out there” performance) and Dembele (see above) complement him splendidly and we need them together for another season.

So there we are. That’s all folks for Craven Cottage 11/12. We’ve started slowly, and the Europa games were, in retrospect, not quite as much fun as they might have been, but whether it was a clearer schedule, the players tuning into Jol’s ideas, or even the removal of Zamora, something’s turned out for the best at Fulham and we’re now, more often than not, a fine side.

Welp, just over one week left. Two match days remaining. The 2011-12 Season carriage will soon turn into a pumpkin at the stroke of 5pm GMT Sunday, May 13.

How do you see things shaking out? After using the BBC’s pretty darn cool predictor, I see us splitting our remaining two matches to finish a respectable ninth. Full table and results below.

So, QPR and Aston Villa manage to survive. Bolton and Blackburn drop down. Spurs pipe Arsenal for third. Newcastle finish fifth. Wigan’s dramatic late season run is mitigated by the fact they still only finish 15th with a horrific GD.

Do post your own results in the comments below.

(Rich’s report was eaten by the internet, so here’s the next best thing: HatterDon’s View From South Texas)

Ho-hum, yet another double by the Mighty Whites.

There’s a point to be made that Liverpool purposely fielded a weakened XI against Fulham Tuesday evening, since they have the FA Cup Final on Saturday. And Ian Darke made that very point 273 times during the 90+ minutes of his “commentating.” I’m sure there will be plenty of press decrying Liverpool’s makeshift side, and using this fact to denigrate Fulham’s victory. Truth be told, there was only one side showing any creativity out there and that was Fulham. Despite fielding Kuyt, Carroll, and Maxi, the three most creative players on the pitch were Dembélé, Dempsey, and Kacankifrei. Ably assisted by Danny Murphy who pulled the strings masterfully, Fulham basically played without being under sustained pressure for a moment. And the result? The fact that despite the typical crowd size, the “few Fulham supporters who bothered to make the trip” [this quote again from Darke] could be heard clearly. I especially loved the “Take Me Home, Al Fayed” and Moussa’s song.

Fulham fielded three ex-Reds, with Special K joining Riise and Murphy in the lineup. The young left winger looked very dangerous early on, and it was a neat combination play between him and Dempsey that resulted in the goal. Dempsey put Special K through and, with Pogrebnyak pressuring Liverpool’s defense, Martin Skrtel put into his own net off his shoulder. And that was pretty much that. Liverpool fired off a raft of shots, but the majority of them hit everything nowhere near Mark Schwarzer’s goal. They nearly scored after an unusual gaffe by the Fulham keeper, but Jonjo Shelvey’s weak shot was cleared off the line by the excellent Brede Hangeland.

Liverpool’s most threatening shot on goal came from the forehead of Andy Carroll, but Tha Big Aussie had little trouble with it. Most of the evening the local “faithful” groaned as pass after pass was misdirected. Initially, most of the interceptions came from and active alert defending up and down the pitch. In the end, though, Fulham scarcely had to move to gain possession as Liverpool players – out of original ideas – passed across the pitch to a wide open Fulham player time after time.

Fulham might have scored twice more. Dempsey set up Frei, who came on for Kacaniklic, and the youngster hammered a fierce shot that threatened to shatter Doni’s right hand post. Later, some brilliant close control by Moussa Dembélé put Dempsey through, but the Texan’s curler was met with a brilliant piece of goalkeeping by Doni. Skrtel attempted to screw up a back pass to his keeper and, possibly, open up yet another opportunity for Dempsey, but there was barely a foot between the two Liverpool players, and Clint was lucky to be able to put a boot on it.

How did Fulham look? Composed, controlled, a bit disjointed when the passing came to Pogrebnyak (The Russian received a pass from a teammate and passed it to another teammate in the 73rd minute. This was, to my knowledge, the only time this sequence occurred). Kacaniklic started off brightly and troubled the right side of Liverpool’s defense for about 15 minutes, but Liverpool’s Kelly soon figured him out and his contribution was reduced to dribbling too long and giving up possession. He is DEFINITELY a prospect. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him make the left wing position his by Christmas. Frei was a good substitute for Special K, and his pace and quick movement was also troubling. But after his wood-work adventure, Frei became less and less vital to the attack. He was, however, brilliant in defending Downing who came in to cause some threat from the Red right wing. Dembélé left with a knock, as did Pogrebnyak, but the Belgian should be giving several Liverpool players nightmares as he ran and juked through their side with the ball seemingly velcroed to his boot.

Fulham’s defense was very good. Except for a near suicidal 5 minutes from Aaron Hughes in the second half, the Liverpool attack didn’t trouble them much. The most enjoyable matchup was the Carroll v. Hangeland affair. The Houston-born Norwegian won most of the 50-50s, but Carroll was a creditable presence up front.

The best player on the pitch tonight was Clint Dempsey. The enigmatic Texan helped create both our goal and Frei’s near second. He also had a good shot beaten away by a superior goalkeeping effort.

HatterDon’s Man of the Match is Clinton Morrison Dempsey. A close second is Alexim Kacankifrei.

And so we have matched our points total from last season, and, with two matches left we’ve put three points between us and West Bromwich Albion. We’re equal on points with Liverpool, albeit 6 down in goal difference. We could pass them, though, as they have a couple of tough matches to come after their FA Cup Final against Chelsea. We’ll see.

On to Sunderland at the Cottage. COYW

All of which goes to prove that goals change games: on Saturday the early goal was conceded; this time we scored it.

Full report in the morning.

Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch our arms further… And one fine morning- So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Don’t do it, Roy.

Let them eat Harry.

I’m reading Simon Reynolds’ “Retromania”, the thrust of which seems to be that modern music has effectively ground to a halt because we’re all so enamoured with the past. I have only just started the book so can’t expand on the theory, but it sounds about right: music from the past has never been so available, old bands don’t just tour, they tour BIG (with ticket prices to match). Where are the Rolling Stones of tomorrow? Coldplay? Snow Patrol? Something from a talent show? Don’t make me laugh. No, people are going to keep consuming the Rolling Stones or Nirvana or The Beatles or Elliott Smith or Jeff Buckley because these artists’ record companies/estates are still making material available, whether the performers in question are alive or not. Heavens, Pearl Jam are still touring and have released literally countless albums to catalogue their output. What the future will make of all this is anyone’s guess but even in dinosaur form, Pearl Jam have no obvious equal in the nonsense I hear today.

To further emphasise the point, in the last three days I have listened to four albums: Frank Zappa’s Sheik Yerbouti; Grateful Dead’s Dave’s Picks Volume 1 (live at the Richmond Mosque, May 1977); John Coltrane’s a Love Supreme (the greatest music ever committed to record, by a considerable distance); Grateful Dead Dick’s Picks Volume 29 (also from May 77, this time the Fox Theatre in Atlanta).

I can rely on these and staples like them because they’re so very good. And all of these albums were released in the form I have them within the last few years. Dave’s Picks is a new Grateful Dead archive initiative, with archivist David Lemieux following on from Dick Latvala’s series as a means of getting live material ‘out there’ in a good quality format. The Dead’s archive is massive, they’ll keep doing this indefinitely, and people will keep buying indefinitely. Why? Because each live performance really was unique, they played different songs in different ways and this variety and sustained excellence ensures that fans keep coming back. Rhino, a specialist in back catalogues, handles the commercial side of things (they also, I think, did the recent Smiths Retrospective, on which Morrissey can be heard singing about exactly this phenomenon on Paint a Vulgar Picture).

The Zappa back catalogue was reissued in (I think) the 90s by Rykodisc. Coltrane’s work has been reissued over and over – my version has a live performance disc 2 to ‘add value’ (it does!).

And so, like Jay Gatsby, no matter how we might try to look forward, where music is concerned we are (by now) unable to escape the past. This is generalising – of course it is – but the phenomenon (such that it is) must be common enough or Reynolds wouldn’t have been able to get a big (and supposedly very good) book out of it.

BUT! Football is different.  Football always moves forward, and no two seasons are the same. Players age, are moved on, sold, new players come in, youth players, incoming transfers: this renewal means it’s always interesting, there’s always something new around the corner and no matter how much you think you’ve seen, you’ve never, ever seen it all (e.g. Clint Dempsey v Juventus). It’s why we keep coming back. Whatever malaise may be affecting the music industry can’t touch football – we may occasionally long for more innocent times, but not to the point where we cease to be very interested in the present, and especially not the future, which is really what it’s all about: is Dempsey leaving? What will happen to Dembele? How talented is Frei? We’ll only know the answer to these questions with time. Multiply these factors several times over to cover intrigue at various rivals, big clubs and others and you have a permanent stream of very unpredictable and sometimes interseting *something*. Things never stand still in football. So yes, we keep coming back.

All this said, the last time Fulham even drew at Goodison Park was 1959. Today we lost 4-0. (shrug).

Not to take away from Rich’s most recent post, but lost among Chelsea’s guerrilla tactics on Tuesday was the fact Aston Villa choked a lead away and lost, at home, to relegation candidates Bolton.

So, with three games left, Aston Villa are just three points above the drop. And if Mark Schwarzer’s parry hadn’t fallen to the feet of Andreas Weimann at the death last month, they would be one point above the drop, with three matches left.

Let me repeat that:

Aston Villa could easily be one point above the relegation zone with three matches left.

How the heck did we get here? From Staurt James of theguardian

Extraordinary not because McLeish came from Villa’s rivals, Birmingham City. Extraordinary because McLeish had just suffered his second relegation with Birmingham in three Premier League seasons. And extraordinary because he is synonymous with a brand of football that, to borrow the former Villa manager Graham Taylor’s recent description, “looks [like] you are preparing a side not to lose”.

This season has been abysmal and the statistics make for painful reading. Villa have won only seven league matches all season, the lowest in the division with the exception of already relegated Wolverhampton Wanderers. Only Wigan have scored fewer than the 19 goals Villa have managed in 18 home fixtures. McLeish’s side have won only four league games at Villa Park and just one in the past five months [ed note: thanks Mark!], meaning that they are guaranteed to finish the season with the worst home record in the club’s history.

Against that backdrop, it is little wonder that there is so much apathy surrounding the club. There were 10,000 empty seats inside Villa Park for the Bolton game, which has been a common theme this season. Villa’s average attendance is 33,755, which is more than 6,000 down on the peak of four years ago and nine per cent down on last season, when Gérard Houllier’s side flirted with relegation…In fact more fans watched Villa in David O’Leary’s last season, when the club finished 16th and supporters held up a banner that said: “We’re not fickle, we just don’t like you.”

It’s easy to blame McLeish for Villa’s faults, which some of them are, but it’s been a combination of injuries and paucity of experience that is dooming this club.

What’s remarkable about the club is they only have 4 players over 30,  (in comparison, we have 10). The average age of their starters is just 24.

So when Richard Dunne and Darren Bent are out for the season in February, the likes of 21-year old Nathan Baker, 23-year olds Eric Lichaj and Chris Herd, and 20-year old Andreas Weimann get called upon to fill in. Not to mention relying on 22-year olds Marc Albrighton, Barry Bannan, and Ciaran Clark anyway.

Add into this equation the fact that over the summer,Villa lost Nigel Reo-Coker, John Carew, Brad Freidel, Stuart Downing, Ashley Young, and Luke Young (the first three were released, the last three sold), only to be replaced with Shay Given, Charles N’Zogbia, and Alan Hutton, and you could see that trouble could easily flare up.

To blame McLeish for Villa’s fault is only portion of the story yet seems to be the entire story. What should be looked at as an exemplary yet dangerous transition to a youth/academy squad, is being overshadowed by dirge and doom. One could look at chairman Randy Lerner looking to gut the squad, sell off any assets, and hire an unpopular manager to shield any criticism; but the flip-side of attempting to rebuild for the future with a promising core is just as easily viewable. Heck, if Jol signed the likes of Bannan, Albrighton, et al, I’d be ecstatic.

McLeish’s goal that the media refuses to perceive is similar to that of Martin Jol’s: reduce the wage and age bill.  Jol has found success partially because he’s been able to rely on the old guard. McLeish has no remaining old guard to speak of.

Needless to say, this summer will be interesting. I hope Villa don’t make it an omen.